2020




Father continues his slow decline.  Hearing must be about half gone.  Knees bad.  Must be given shots in his eyes every couple of weeks to fight macular degeneration.  Takes frequent naps – though I must say his stamina is good.  After all, it's been up to him to take care of my mother lately, which means taking care of the house as well, largely on his own.  And he's done well.  Don't know how long they can go on this way.  For now they are ok.

Me, I have a small ache in the small of my back.  A bit of arthritis around one of the vertabrae is the cause.  The doctor called it a mild to moderate case.  Which made me feel a bit foolish, a bit of a whiner.  But in fact, it does give me some trouble most days.  Though other than that, I've not much to complain of.  Some holes in my teeth.  Receding gums.  Thinning hair at the crown of my head.  Loss of muscle tone.  Occasionally a blurry patch, a foggy spot, floating around in one of my eyes.  A loss of muscle tone.  Increased crustiness.  I'm 60.




Sunday July 5


Everything feeling deeply unsettled and unsettling these days – dark days indeed, it feels like.  Protests against police violence towards black people – we've been shown example after example of over-the-top brutality, and witnessed time and again police officers being held to no account – continue to happen all across the country.  The protests have been going on long enough now to have gained a measure of popular support; the problem is that the protestors, now that they have a modicum of power, aren't quite sure what to do with it.  Meantime I must listen to my father (today was my weekly visit) proclaiming that the protestors should be fought back instead of listened to, beaten down, shot if need be.  The virus continues to surge, and people continue to ignore or willfully defy commonsense measures meant to help keep us safe.  Why?  Because they won't let no big, bad gvt tell them what to do!  Good god.  Also let's not forget the corruption run rampant throughout the federal gvt, matched only by its ineptitude in the face of every crisis, be it social, environmental, or viral.  And of course underlying all this is the ever present threat posed by climate change.  And to fix it all, supposedly, or at least settle things one way or the other, we have a presidential election coming.  The stakes couldn't be higher, and who are our two contenders?  A Narcissistic Dick and Our Aging Uncle.




Wednesday July 8


Extremely hot night – 90° at 11 pm, and muggy, which is the real killer.  I'm all drippy with sweat.  The virus surges.  I myself have a sore throat.  It's just an old sinus infection I think, but who knows?  There was a woman standing behind me in line at a store yesterday who was sniffling.  Wet sniffles, she was snuffling runny wet stuff back up into her nose with every inhalation.  I turned to look at her.  She was standing no more than two feet from me, and wore no mask.  I couldn't even give her a dirty look; she was too busy staring down at her phone.  Finally I gave a dramatic little sigh (which still didn't get her attention) and moved to the back of the line.



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